(Note, this story is available as an instructable.)

Remember back when we were kids, how wonderful it was sitting around a campfire, toasting marshmallows and making s’mores? Well, we can have that again. After considerable pain and effort on my part, I have managed to put together a little step-by-step guide for making s’mores in the comfort of your own home. As you read this, try to appreciate all the effort the adults in your life went through to give us such a small pleasure.

How to make s’mores in the comfort of your own home

As you know, s’mores are made up graham crackers, chocolate or carob (if you are allergic), and marshmallows. We will start by obtaining the chocolate or carob, as that tends to last longer.

First, prepare your tools

Second, head to the chip mine. The nearest to me is Big Rock Candy Mountain.

Third, take the ore home for refinement.

Lastly, sift out the low-quality sugar, and pick out the chips for use later. Now, we go on to gathering the marshmallows:

Visit the marsh and collect all you see. The best time for collection is morning or evening, in the Spring.

Note: The ones that grow near the grasses have better flavour, but the ones that grow near the muck are more moist, this means that they’ll melt better when you cook them.

Lastly, remember that marshmallows can spoil in marsh, so check for any overripe ones and separate them from the rest.

The last component is that of the graham crackers. Luckily, my house has a bit of an infestation of graham bears, so these were fairly easy. What follows is some advice on the best places to lay bear traps.

Bears like sugar and honey, so this is a good place to set traps.

Bears like nuts. I baited this one with an almond, and put it near the other nuts.

Bears like berries and music. I played “Waltzing with Bears” in this trap.

To catch many bears at once, you have to set up a teddy bears’ picnic. While it does take more work, picnics are very effective.

Next is the preparation stage. This takes some work, but if you just follow the steps, it should be fairly straightforward.

Separate the gimpy ones.

Bears tend to move quickly and wiggle, you have to stun them so they’re easier to handle.

Tie bears together with chips and marshmallows. The tie is needed, as they tend to wake up during the cooking process. Things can get pretty messy pretty quickly.

Close up of the tie. As you can see, you don’t need to use fancy knots, as bears have no thumbs, so they can’t untie them anyway.

Cook on high for one second per s’more, or one half-second per bear.

As you can see, some marshmallows are meltier than others. You have to pick your own balance between juiciness and flavor.

This is what a fully cooked s’more looks like. If you cooked longer, the chip would have melted too, but that would make the marshmallow too melty. Experiment to find your own balance.